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Frisco Del Rosario writes about chess960, women's basketball, minor league baseball, unsupported collectible card games, lettering in comic books, and Golden Age movies

Peter Thiel and the secret club handshake 12/15/2016

At Trump’s summit with tech leaders, he said:

We’re going to make it a lot easier for you to trade across borders because of a lot of restrictions, a lot of problems that I think you’ll see.

Trump summons the only people in tech who might relate to him: billionaires, and — given a logical pruning — here’s what he said to them:

The logic operator in trump_sentence is “because”. A, because B.

There are two chunks in Part A:

A1) “We’re going to make it a lot easier for you”. Boil as “My administration shall ease”.

A2) “trade across borders”. There’s the bait — tech billionaires appreciate their international trade.

In Part B, Trump says lots of restrictions and problems. Bad things, let’s say.

In other words, Trump said: “My administration shall ease your global technology commerce because of bad things”.

Trump is predicting bad things. A lot of restrictions, he said. But we’ll go easier on you if you join me.

He’s selling this to people with tech money and influence: Bad things are coming — like, am I here or what!? — but my government fucks you less if you join me. Even if you don’t join us, you’re sucking my dick on the webcam.

If I were a nervous shareholder, I might urge my CEO to keep sucking Trump’s dick — the networked Russians helped put Trump where he is; if they’re not already winning in network intelligence, how much easier does it get after Trump takes office?

Steve Jobs might have said the emperor’s wearing no clothes, and he wants us to suck his dick on his Android.

Eh, who needs Steve Jobs when there’s Peter Thiel and the secret club handshake.

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Categories: internet

Eternal September crests on violent, racist, sexist freshmen who are old enough to vote and buy guns 12/03/2016

Usenet was one of the first social networks: text-only,  and very cool in some of its places. Usenet went into a death spiral in 1993, when it spawned the phrase “September that never ended”.

Every September, incoming college freshmen would be exposed to Usenet on school networks. Network traffic and content would suffer until the novelty wore off.

Then in 1993, America Online began offering Usenet access to its millions of users, which meant the discussion network welcomed a new crop of college freshmen with each mailing of free AOL trial disks.

Still one of my favorite online writing gigs was Newsgroup Scoop for AOL. The idea was to educate AOL’s Usenet novices about how some of these newsgroups were like ancient burial grounds, not to be fucked with. We did not make a dent in Eternal September, but I enjoyed writing about Usenet culture for a year after Scoop ended.

Usenet’s trolls were among the social net’s original trolls. I used to read — I was well acquainted with two of its trolls: My best friend employed one useless asshole of a sockpuppet, while Gordon Roy Parker was a loon with scary fetishes, and a comical serial litigant. Gordon Roy sued Google for a kajillion dollars. My best friend was a better chessplayer than Gordon Roy Parker, who went over 2000 USCF for a month.

Parker played some very witty online miniatures. When I commended him for this, he sort of disowned them. That annoyed me, because those chess games were something cool and verifiable, but seemed to mean less to him than maintaining grandiose fabrications about other accomplishments.

He wrote some hardcore Olympic gymnast torture porn, and disowned that, too. Serial litigant and sexual criminal at heart, streaming bullshit and self-importance.

Donald Trump is like Gordon Roy Parker had Gordon Roy won a settlement from Google, then ran for president. Eternal September crests on violent, racist, sexist freshmen who are old enough to vote and buy guns.

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Categories: internet