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Frisco Del Rosario writes about chess960, women's basketball, minor league baseball, unsupported collectible card games, lettering in comic books, and Golden Age movies

The smart *and* funny Heidi Turner 12/22/2017

During the 20th season of “South Park”, I dread the thought of Heidi Turner girlfriending Eric Cartman. I reckon that was a universal feeling — the students of South Park Elementary plus the viewers beyond the fourth wall know that Cartman is an incredible asshole, particularly when it comes to his mother.
I caught up with season 21, and determined to watch the whole bloody series again — as long as I’m writing about the mobile game South Park: Phone Destroyer, it’s research. (Bebe was a fickle jerk in season 3’s “Clubhouses”, but her pirate card might be my favorite — in a player vs. player game, she needs help staying alive long enough to be useful; but in a player vs. environment game, she grows with each wave of enemies, and when the boss lands, Buccaneer Bebe is one of the most powerful fighters on the stage.)

Season 21 revealed that Heidi has issues, enabling Cartman’s emotional abuse (as the cuts to the blank-faced but understanding witnesses stand for us viewers), and his increasingly elaborate deceit. He set her up to be killed by a witch (who else has Cartman murdered in the first degree — the Scott Tenorman episode, in which he was ground into meat for chili was memorably good) because she delayed his trip to the pumpkin patch?!

The showrunners were playing a long game — Heidi completely turned the tables on Cartman by *becoming* Cartman before finding herself again and leaving Cartman holding a gun to his head with *another* suicide threat if she were to dump him.

I thought the two-season arc was brilliant, the most-deeply-written character development ever for a South Park kid.

In the SPPD game, Heidi is the most limited of the kid cards. The main players and several secondaries are represented in each color, while Nathan, Mimsy, Terrance, Dogpoo, Marcus, others are universally “gray”. Calamity Heidi is only blue (that’ll have to be addressed with future releases, yeah?). Her battle cry is most appropriate: “I’m smart *and* funny!”

Calamity Heidi’s card art is some of the best in the set, when you look behind Heidi.

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