Attendance: 1

Frisco Del Rosario writes about chess960, women's basketball, minor league baseball, unsupported collectible card games, lettering in comic books, and Golden Age movies

Welcome Mr. Hankey the New Year’s Eve Poo 12/27/2017

The developers of South Park: Phone Destroyer are bringing back Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo in a few days, making Mr. Hankey the December 29 Poo also.


I suspect an enormous bug was discovered in the midst of the Christmas event, because I’ve read  around three reports of a player pulling a Mr. Hankey card.

Since ts worldwide release one month ago, 8 million people downloaded South Park: Phone Destroyer. Let’s say the game retained users at the same rate that elementary school chess students continue to play chess after the 6th grade: About one in 1,000, leaving a paltry 8,000 users. Among 8,000 people who participated in elementary school chess programs and kept playing past age 10, maybe 50 or 75 learned to be pretty good players. Suppose 40 of them completed all 10 bonus levels during Mr. Hankey week, and 20 found a Mr. Hankey.

Those are very conservative estimates. When you consider that our imaginary 20 lucky players were good enough players to collect 10 bonuses, that’s 20 people who would be talking about it on a Ubisoft forum, Reddit, or Facebook.

Now include users fortunate to pull Mr. Hankey before completing 10 bonus levels. Also include the users who spent real money purchasing the bonus packs in search of Mr. Hankey.

So I’m thinking something went horribly wrong in the software. With two days remaining in the Mr. Hankey event, the timer counting down to the end disappeared from the home screen, and the valuable poo nuggets disappeared from loot locks and PvP prize packs.

The countdown timer went back online while I was in bed, suggesting something was broken in the countdown feature and they took it down in the middle of the night to fix it.

It’s wild speculation on my part, but the circumstantial evidence suggests that the Mr. Hankey event was seriously screwed in many places in the software platform. Just the fact that they’re making Mr. Hankey work overtime as the New Year’s Eve Poo adds fuel to the speculative fire.

I completed every bonus level during Mr. Hankey week, and like almost everyone else, didn’t find the talking shit. But I pulled Transmogrify and Cock Magic, which I think completes the subset of pirate week cards, and reached PvP level 25.

PvP level 25 is significant in a few respects: 1) It’s halfway to Legendary, 2) it’s an Achievement that rewards in-game cash, and 3) it unlocks a new PvP battlefield with additional cards to discover.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *